Your ability to develop mutually beneficial relationships will determine the extent of your success. You need a relationship with your banker to get a loan. You need to have a relationship with the first floor security to let you enter the building on Sunday. You need a good relationship with your colleagues to get the support required to get projects completed. You need a good relationship with a mentor or sponsor to get the positions you want. Yet only about 50% of the American workforce feel confident in their ability to build successful relationships. Since relationship development is essential to success and I want you to have both personal and professional success, here are a few quick pearls for thought.
How Do You Leave People Feeling
Its not who you know, its who knows you. But more importantly its how do you make them feel. People like to help and work with other people whom they like. Unfortunately some people believe they are liked by others, but don’t realize that they are merely tolerated. If you know the right people, the right people know you and you are getting no where, reflect on your interactions with others. Do you leave them with a good feeling or do you leave them dreading the time they spent with you? Are you sure? Learn the rules of relationship development and building rapport. The next issue of the magazine will give you details about developing relationships.
Don’t Keep Score
One of the best ways to develop positive relationships is to offer your assistance or resources. It not only creates a connection but it also creates a desire to reciprocate when the recipient of your good deed is in a position to assist you. So, there is no need to keep score. Contribute to your relationships and personal gain will naturally follow.
Make the First Move
If there is a colleague or company leader you wish to connect with create an opportunity to connect. It may be as simple as sending an introductory email, asking another colleague to make an in person or virtual introduction, attending a presentation or reception which he will also attend or setting up a short meeting to let him know why you’d like to develop a relationship with him. Don’t wait on fate. Make it happen.
Have the courage to push beyond your fears and to tackle the difficult. Most things are difficult the first time you try. Once you have repeated the task enough it becomes as easy as walking. And, if you plan to be successful get used to being scared because you will frequently be in front of opportunities with uncertain outcomes and your fear will feel paralyzing. Push ahead.